Having a FWB (friend with benefits) can be great. It’s a way to get off and have fun with no strings attached. Nothing could be better, right? The only thing about that is that sometimes people can’t separate sex and love. If that’s true for you, don’t get too upset. Over half of the FWB relationships that ever start end in some sort of romantic attraction. You’re not alone. All you need to do is think about where to go from there.
Call It Off
First things first – you need to call off the relationship. The worst thing you could do is have a FWB relationship where you or her feel something for each other. The point of the whole thing is to have sex without affection, so once there’s something there, the relationship is over. It’s not fair to either of you, and one or both of you will inevitably end up hurt. Spare yourself the drama and call it off right away. Don’t lie to her, though. Tell her how you feel, and why you’re ending it. Calling it off suddenly with no reasoning will make her think she did something wrong.
Ask How She Feels
The next step is to figure out how she feels about you. Who knows, she might have been falling for you the whole time, too. This happens more than you would think, so don’t be shocked if you confess and she confesses right back. Obviously, that’s the good answer. On the other end of the spectrum, she could reject you. Perhaps she really was just in it for the sex, though that’s rare for women. If she rejects you, then you need to accept it. You can try to get her to fall for you, but don’t push it. Especially don’t try to reinstate the FWB status. Since you feel something for her, that part of your relationship is totally over. By all means, keep being friends, but sex is out of the question. If she does like you, though, then feel free to ask her out. After all, she already knows you won’t be using her to get in her pants because you’ve already been there.
Take It Slow
People who started as FWB tend to have great relationships because they’re already so familiar with each other. It’s the same as dating someone you’ve known for years. Since you two have already slept together, there’s no reason to rush into things. Take it slow with her, and get to know her even better. Start acquainting yourself with her personality and interests. Take her out on a lot of dates. Don’t think that you should treat her the same as you did before. FWB is much different than being in a romantic relationship. She’s your girlfriend now, and not just a sex partner. Obviously you should keep having sex with her, but keep in mind that it’s not the same as how you were before. Also, be aware that she might not want to have sex right off the bat in a relationship. It might seem weird, but a lot of women don’t feel comfortable with that. It’s okay, it just means you have to work back up to that point, this time romantically. In all honesty, it makes it a new challenge for you to overcome, and strengthens the relationship.